Cranky History
The Ten Trends
Cranky Code

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The Cranky Code (from chapter 1)

In case you live with, work for, or must spend significant amounts of time with someone who fits the cranky profile, the following may help you better understand why they behave as they do. Here are some of the underlying expectations harbored by our cranky citizens who think they have a constitutional right to unleash their insolence on the rest of us (The LA Times suggested this was a perfect item to be posted in workplace break rooms and I agree):

• I am entitled to what I want when I want it.
• My time is important and I should not be inconvenienced by others when I'm driving, working, standing in lines, or on the telephone.
• I have a right to be impatient or rude when other people are behaving stupidly.
• I am entitled to special privileges because I am who I am.
• My family should know I care about them without my having to prove it or say it every day.
• I'm a taxpayer; I own part of this road and I have the right to drive as fast as I want because my time is precious and I have to be somewhere.
• I not only have the right to pursue happiness, I deserve to be happy and I'll do whatever it takes to achieve it.
• I'm entitled to cheat a little bit in order to get ahead. If I don't take advantage someone else will, and then they'll be a step ahead of me.
• I work extra hard but don't get paid for it so I'm justified in helping myself to a few "souvenirs" from my office to offset what I am rightfully owed.
• I'm too busy to mince around with false politeness and should be able to tell people exactly what I think without having to worry about their feelings.
• I must be more in the know than everyone else so I can stay "one up" on them; otherwise they may take advantage of me.
• I deserve the newest, the biggest, the best, and the most. It's my right.
• I'm going to die one day so I may as well get as much as I can right now.
• So what if I'm being rude - I never have to see this person again so what difference does it make?
• My opinions and views are more valid than anyone else's.
• My emergencies take precedence over anyone else's emergency.
• The world is unfair and opportunities are limited, so I may as well get all I can while I can, regardless of who or what stands in my way.